The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
smell my finger.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
