His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
