Do you still have your period?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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