I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
