i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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