I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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