I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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