No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
