u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
