he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
