butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
worst night to have a conscience
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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