So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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