are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well most of my day revolves around power hour
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize