I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
