Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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