Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
