I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
