You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize
