and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
