This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
