so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
