i don't like sucking hair
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
