the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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