Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
