In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This is my gift to your gina
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
