after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
