So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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