But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
