My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
