Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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