Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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