i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize