If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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