i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
