Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
