You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
