I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
