if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
