Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
