grandma shit on top of the toilet
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
