I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
