I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
