That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
