UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize