My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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