can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
