I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
