soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
