His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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