my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
