My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It was confusing and full of hummus
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
