I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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