I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she pinky promised me she was 18
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just want to make out with him forever
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
