For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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