Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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