walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
