Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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