she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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