why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
