Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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