lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
